What is your purpose as a couple?
Many authors, from Viktor Frankl to Deepak Chopra, have discussed the importance of living a purposeful life. It is purpose that allows us to transcend ourselves and create meaningful moments. Frankl believed that a pursuit in meaning in life is far more important than the pursuit of happiness, as meaning connects us to our past, present and future.
It can also be said that purpose in a relationship is more important than happiness. Relationships that last are the ones where two people create shared meaning; where goals are set and met alongside each other. A healthy relationship involves building a life together where dreams are not only visualized but come to fruition.
My husband and I make it a point to spend time dreaming and goal setting, and these conversations, often held on our porch over a glass of wine or a cold beer are some of my favorite times together.
While happiness is a feeling that can eventually fade, meaning and purpose are everlasting. With this in mind, here are 3 ways you and your partner can create and share goals together.
Commit to Creating a Shared Vision
Couples are often encouraged to commit to a date night once a week to stay connected. While having fun together is definitely important to the relationship, it is no more important than creating a shared life vision together. Be sure to set time aside to discuss your goals, dreams, and wishes. Commit to creating a shared vision and figure out how you’re going to make that vision become reality.
During your dreaming and planning hours, it’s important that you both be open to what the other has to say. Dreaming and planning your life is not the time to put each other down for ideas or questions. Being open and non-critical will create an environment of respect and safety, and this is where magic can happen.
Once you have come up with your goal (live a sustainable lifestyle, home-school the kids, create a home gym, etc…) and devised a plan of how you’ll get there, it’s important you BOTH see the plan all the way through to the end. Be sure to keep yourself and each other accountable and support one another. Remember, you’re on the same team – cheer each other on so you can win the gold!
Committing time to dreaming and planning together, being open and respectful to what the other has to say, and sharing in the responsibility of seeing your dream come to fruition is a great way to ensure that your relationship or marriage will continue to thrive.
If you are struggling to stay connected and thrive in your relationship or marriage, couples counseling is a great way to learn how to increase communication and build shared meaning. Schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation now and learn how you can improve your relationship or marriage and build a life of shared meaning together.